Monday, November 2, 2009

Babies and Tears

Sometimes being a high school teacher is hard. Really, really hard. A few weeks ago, one of my super amazing 1st period kids began fleeing the room at a high rate of speed with her hand over her mouth. She did this nearly every morning right before class started.

The first time it happened, I thought she might have the flu.

The second time, I knew she didn't.

I asked her if she was pregnant and she wouldn't answer. Last week, as she was walking into 1st period, a herd of girls pulled her back into the hall and they had someone on the phone. She talked to whoever was on the phone for a couple of minutes and then came back into my classroom crying.

Today, before school started, she walked up and asked if she could come by and talk to me after school about something. I said no problem, and she said she was pregnant and needed someone to talk to. So she came by after school, and we talked for over an hour. Here's the story:

She's pregnant, for the second time, by the same boy. She wants to keep the baby. He is trying everything he can to convince her to have an abortion. This includes telling her she's stupid, threatening to never speak to her again, and breaking up with her (the tears on the phone last week). Last week he gave her a pack of pills, told her they were "abortion pills" and told her to take them. She threw them in the trash. Last year, the first time she got pregnant, he was so emotionally abusive that she miscarried. He couldn't understand why she kept crying about it and got mad at her.

She told me that he won't wear condoms, so she stopped asking him to. She "loves" him, so while she should be thinking about what is best for her and the baby, instead she is thinking about what won't make him mad. He insists that she call him every night. He told her that if she even talks to any other boy he'll break up with her.

The boy is a boy I had in that horrible awful 6th period class last year. I liked him. I don't any more. He makes her feel bad about herself and anyone that controlling is someone to stay far, far away from. She needs to talk to someone who knows more than I do though. I tried to encourage her to talk to a counselor or her mom, but we'll see. I do think that I pointed out something she hadn't thought about though, when I asked her if she wanted to be this miserable for the rest of her life.

And that's when the tears started.

Being a teenager really sucks. Sometimes being their teacher sucks too.


Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

My heart breaks for this girl. Hope she realizes what this boy is really about soon. You did a good thing being there for her.

Pam said...

It's heartbreaking, isn't it?

The Reflective Educator said...

Good lord.

Ronnica said...

Stories like this break my heart and are why I want to work with teenagers.