Saturday, September 12, 2009

In Defense of Teenagers (edited)

I get the "teaching questions" a lot. If you are a teacher, you know the ones.....What do you do, where do you teach, holy cow are you crazy, etc. Well, maybe you only get that last one if you confess to voluntarily spending the majority of your living time on earth with volatile, emotionally unpredictable teenagers.

But so help me, I love 'em. And here's some reasons why. On the first day of school, as an introductory exercise, the kids were allowed to interview me for four minutes, and ask me anything they wanted to about my personal life. They took notes on the answers, and then wrote a half page biography of me. These bios were HYSTERICAL. Here are some excerpts:
  • She worked for her dad as a tractor (and then I pulled out my mad transformer skillz and morphed back into my human form....)
    She loves tie/tia/tyi/thia food (that would be THAI food)
  • She is mixed (race) with uripion and jermin (er....European and German)
  • Attended school in Promalice, Oregon (This is really only funny if you live in Oregon, but it should be CORVALLIS)
  • No she hasn’t been married so boys don’t let your hopes down (I like this kid!!)
  • She likes to travel, so whenever you see her, ask her for souvenirs
  • She is at the tender age of 30 (This kid is my favorite now)
  • Graduated high school in 1986 (er....at the tender age of 7?)
  • But besides all that Miss DarkSide is pretty much like everyone else
  • Who is Miss DarkSide? Is she a superhero? (Why yes, yes I am)
  • She wanted to be an interior designer because of her intolerance of blank spaces everywhere (Could Not Stop Laughing)
  • Her family name is from Schwisterland/Her last name is Swish (Apparently I am related to Nike)
  • Miss DarkSide is an independent woman who has high potential.
  • She wanted to be an interior designer but failed and became a teacher.
  • When I first saw Miss DarkSide I didn’t think much of her (This was HANDS-DOWN my favorite one, by a SpEd student)
  • She now lives in Washtention (apparently a combination of Washington and Detention) and then later in the same bio...She likes living in Washtioning better than Organtion (which was also spelled Organ, Orgean, and Origou).
Speaking of spelling, my sister's name was spelle Hidy, Hydi, Hydi, Hiedi, Hidea, Hydie, Hiadie, (and Cathy), and my favorite color was spelled tercoils, tercuose, turquoose, torquoise, torcoil, torquise, turquiste (by the same kid who correctly used and spelled genre), terqose, turcos, turquios, torquoos, and turques. Maybe I should have said my favorite color was pink.

One class asked if I had a criminal record, and when I said no, asked if I had a juvenile record. They seemed disappointed when I said no to that too. That class also asked if I was afraid of bears.

Seriously, how could you NOT love this stuff?

9 comments:

carla said...

That is classic.

Melissa B. said...

The best job I've ever had, and I've had a few. Thanks for validating what we do, and for giving me a chuckle today!

stacie k said...

this is awesome. i was cracking up...intolerance of blank spaces everywhere...

Just say Julie said...

This made me laugh to no end. I could barely get my kids to write an auto bio poem last week, much less a half page paper. And I would hate to imagine what questions mine would come up with!

Bethany said...

Those are hysterical! Yesterday I was babysitting and saw one of my students who questioned me on why I had a baby then but not at school...haha. I love kids!

Me said...

Absolutly histerical! I love it!

Crazy Daisy said...

those are the best!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

That gave me the laugh I needed. I so relate my dear!!

Pam said...

Those are great! I have a folder where I keep all the fun things kids have written. Since all of mine are special, they're all pretty much fun!